


looking right at the other half of me

by outruntheavalanche



Series: Author's Favorites [4]
Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Episode VI: Return of the Jedi, Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Angst, Brother/Sister Incest, F/M, Introspection, Not Beta Read, Post-Star Wars: Return of the Jedi, Sibling Incest
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-01-08
Updated: 2016-01-08
Packaged: 2018-05-12 14:22:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 924
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5669179
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/outruntheavalanche/pseuds/outruntheavalanche
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>
  <i>It isn’t until after the last of the revelers has turned in for bed and the bonfires have burned to ash that Leia takes a moment—really takes a moment—for herself.</i>
</p>
            </blockquote>





	looking right at the other half of me

**Author's Note:**

  * For [ingridmatthews](https://archiveofourown.org/users/ingridmatthews/gifts).



> Yep, this is definitely Skywalkercest. 
> 
> Written for [](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/ingridmatthews/profile)[**ingridmatthews**](http://www.archiveofourown.org/users/ingridmatthews/) ' [](http://fandom-stocking.dreamwidth.org/profile)[**fandom_stocking**](http://fandom-stocking.dreamwidth.org/). Hope you like it!
> 
> Title from "Mirrors," by Justin Timberlake.

It isn’t until after the last of the revelers has turned in for bed and the bonfires have burned to ash that Leia takes a moment—really takes a moment—for herself. Everything’s been so whirlwind-crazy that she hasn’t had a moment to stop and think.

Leia goes for a walk along the perimeter of the Ewok village, wth only her thoughts to keep her company.

When she’d told Han the truth—that Luke was her brother—he seemed so relieved. He’d been prepared to step aside, to let her be with Luke if that was what she really wanted, and when she assuaged his fears, she could practically feel the relief rolling off him in waves.

Her _brother_. It seems so strange now to look back on the quick, unbreakable bond that formed between her and Luke and remember a time when she thought—she thought—

Leia’s lips have tasted his. She’s kissed him twice and almost-kissed him more times than she cares to count. 

She will never admit this to another living soul, but she’s touched herself in her bunk imagining sandy blond hair and eyes as blue as any ocean. There was a time in her life when she could have imagined herself choosing Luke, choosing his wide-eyed, unabashed earnestness over Han’s sharply angled jawline and threadbare cynicism. 

“I wasn’t expecting to find you out here.”

Leia stops in her tracks and turns, knowing who she’ll find. “Luke,” she says, twisting her hands in the folds of her skirt. “I was just…trying to clear my head.”

Her brother—her _brother_ —smiles at her, and even in the dark of night his eyes are a shock of blue, like the flash of a lightsaber blade. He moves closer, dry brush and twigs crackling underfoot. 

“It’s been quite the day,” he says, still smiling at her. The soft, low tone of his voice makes her shiver, or perhaps it’s the cold.

Leia makes herself smile back, and doesn’t let herself rub away the gooseflesh on her arms. “It has,” she agrees. She doesn’t move any closer.

“Are you all right? You seem troubled,” he says.

“I’ve been thinking. About what you told me,” she says, lowering her gaze. She wraps her arms around her middle. “It’s true that I’ve always known we’re related somehow. I don’t think I would have been able to put a name to it in the beginning, but I felt it.”

“I did too,” Luke says.

Leia tightens her arms around herself. “Luke, I—I kissed you. I knew, somewhere, somehow, what we really were to each other and I still kissed you.”

Luke closes his eyes for a brief moment and exhales in one long breath. “Ah, yes. That.” He falls silent.

Leia takes his response—or lack thereof—as an indication to ramble on. 

“I love Han. I might even marry him someday, have a family with him.” She falters, but only for a moment. She has to get this out before she loses her nerve. “But—but you were my first love. You were the first man i ever imagined a future with. The first man I ever... And I don’t know how to feel about it. I don’t know how to reconcile those feelings, the people we were then with the people we are now.”

Luke sighs again and takes another step closer, and another, until they’re mere inches apart. He ghosts the back of his black-gloved hand over her cheek; the leather is cold and rough against her skin.

“Leia, Leia,” he says, cupping her cold cheek with his mechanical hand. “Please don’t feel guilty. You didn’t _know_. Not really, not in any concrete way. We both felt a connection that neither of us could put a name to. I don’t feel guilty for having loved you, and I wish you wouldn’t feel guilty for having loved me.”

Leia reaches up and slips a hand over Luke’s on her cheek. She sighs. A dying flame gutters in her chest where her heart ought to be. A strong gust of wind will put it out, she thinks, but it’s still there, burning brightly until then.

Without really thinking, Leia leans forward and slides her cool lips over Luke’s. He doesn’t respond at first—he’s probably in shock, she thinks—but after a few dreadfully long moments, he moves his gloved hand to her waist and presses back. She tightens a hand in the front of his robe, anchoring him to her, and she tastes salt on her tongue. Whether they’re her tears or Luke’s, she can’t be certain.

Finally, Luke pulls away. His eyes are glassy and his cheeks are wet, and tears sting the corners of her eyes too.

“I’m sorry,” she says, loosening her grip in his robe. “I don’t know what came over me.”

Luke opens and closes his mouth a few times before finding his voice. “Go find Han,” he says, his tone far more gentle than it should be. “Find Han and love him as you’ve loved me. Be happy, Leia. That’s all I want for you. To be happy.”

“And you as well,” she says, stepping back and wiping her eyes on the sleeve of her gown. “You’ll be happy too, Luke. Promise me.”

“I will,” he says, managing a smile for her. “I’ll see you tomorrow, sister.”

“Goodbye, Luke,” she whispers. 

Luke turns and leaves, and Leia watches a piece of her heart go with him.

That’s fine, though. She has more than enough left for Han.


End file.
